What's in a Name, What's in My Sleepy Eyes Half The Time?
The use of / perfume names — and —
How to / regulate your visions
to sustain / only the correct ones Even when / they say there is no / right or wrong you know / this to be true The microscopic / muscle spasm seen / on their upper / lip does not lie / cannot not Or the tip of two / eyebrows that come together / to rendevouz / at the midway point on their forehead As if / to run away Feigning / good feelings and camaraderie /
Like if you think of your poem like a fragrance; what would you name yours?
Lumier Noir; black light, a disco ball netted into the surfaces: walls, ceilings, furnishings. I remember Coffy. A club scene from the early 70’s plays here from another movie.
In your eyes but
behind them rather where the space between one moment and the next is disjointed, disrupted by the sole impulse to know. That a name must tell you why something is the way it is or perhaps to give you a sensation from which ‘meaning’, in the way one accepts meaning to mean, can be culled enough to picture.
A flash of a camera, caught in its instant salute are the remains of personhood. A name which is not a name and yet still, only and forevermore, a name.
I mean, brought back in their pursuit for nostalgia. Imprint it. I wanted and was simultaneously repulsed by my compulsion for more, more, more;
To desire so blatantly to be anything other than myself.
My handwriting is loose / today more so than yesterday Or the day before / or the day after that / one I know / that I resist the urge to write / at all times as if my brain/’s function consisted on the desire / to think It is not safe / inside me / to think
a voice always combats / me /
with its sharp / tone like a coot bawling / in a lake The Peak / District or rather
Victoria / Park or no instead / a more accurate depiction i / s;
You never know /
where It’s going / to be a pain to transpose this I think / this and stop writing I / haven’t been writing as in / by hand as much as / my body is impulsed to / do But I need / to give myself the time and perhaps more / sound / advice permission to Permission to / conceive of something / not for the sake of persuasion but for / clarification A separation / from the voice
Within me that plants / doubts / I don’t know there’s / a level of madness but madness / is the spark of invention Perhaps / in my madness / crossing with your distinct madness when / combined we will be able to / find a track to hook onto / to watch / the rolling hills roll roll / off the square frame / of your window pane My arm / aches from writing It’s / become an unused muscle I need to / exercise / it Exorcise the self /
mine by proximity / but ours / by design.